Monica Younan B.A., Psychology Intern
July 4th, 2019
Have you spent years being faithful to the one you love, only to find out your loyalty was not reciprocated? Feeling betrayed by the one you love can feel like your world has crumbled into pieces. Feelings of anger, confusion, hate, love and sadness may arise. It may be one of the hardest challenges you go through. Experiencing infidelity in your relationship instills in you a sense of insecurity causing you to develop deep trust issues. On the bright side, you can come out of this a much stronger individual.
Things may feel surreal at first. You may feel like a brick of walls have just hit you, and you are just unsure of what to make of this new information. It is completely normal to feel confused and lost. It is highly recommended to allow yourself to absorb all these different emotions without pushing them away or ignoring them. Whether it be expressing your emotions to that significant other or to a close family member or friend, accepting how you feel is the first most crucial step to going through any challenge. Often, you may feel personally responsible for your partner’s infidelity or may perhaps feel like something is wrong with you. If you find yourself experiencing such thoughts, it is highly recommended that you remind yourself that your are never responsible for another person’s wrongdoing. You are a beautiful individual who deserves to be treated with respect and loyalty, no matter the circumstances. In addition, feeling betrayed by the love of your life may cause you to have trouble trusting others. Your trust issues may in turn prevent you from developing future healthy relationships. Your partner’s infidelity is out of your control, but fortunately you are in control of how you face this challenge. Such trauma can be taken as a learning experience. It can be the perfect opportunity for you to spend some time alone with yourself, to think and reflect and simply learn about yourself. Do not feel the need to rush into a new relationship to simply fill the void you may be feeling. Instead, take the time to grieve and process your emotions. Try and make the best out of the time you have being alone, specifically to learn to be okay by yourself.
Do not lose hope! Things will get better for you and you will feel happier with time. While this process could take time, being patient is key. You will eventually come to terms with what has happened and potentially forgive your ex-partner for the sake of your own recovery. You will also most likely meet someone who will gain your trust and show you that honest and loyal people do infact exist. Do not be afraid to reach out for some help. Our psychologists and life coaches here at Clinique PsySante can help you process your emotions in a healthy way and help you develop an appropriate coping mechanism. You are not alone in this journey!